The Power of Euphoria is astonishing. It can have detrimental effects, as I’ve experienced, however, it also has positive impact on a person’s genuine joy and happiness during life’s experiences.
Euphoria may seem like a very drastic over-exaggeration of word, it did to me, and that’s mainly down to its underuse. In reality, though, it’s merely one or two levels above the more typical ‘excitement’ we all experience in day to day life. Euphoria has far more power to evoke beauty and disaster than general excitement, due to its additional use of adrenaline to increase the intensity a level higher than normal excitement. The dictionary states “Euphoria is a feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness.” So then, it feels good when in that state, and it hits the right part of the brain with endorphins that it makes you want to get there repeatedly, and stay there.
I have been riding a high, see what I did there ;), of Euphoria for over 6 weeks. A date in my mind is my Birthday weekend, on the 19th December, being the start of this intensely wonderful period. I have lived the most exciting time in those 6 weeks (it will continue, and I know that, but in a different more efficient form.) The only period that comes close to the intensity of the feelings I have experienced was just before the pandemic, in December 2019.
The excitement I experienced comes predominantly from my cycling, that goes without saying. I simple wouldn’t be doing this sport if it didn’t give me that feeling of joy and rush of euphoria after a race win, or even an amazing training session. Each session I got more and more excited with what I was doing. During – and after – each session I applied the feelings I experienced to what I felt was possible to achieve in my races this season. Leading to powerful visions of races, and racing situations. These visions often were more powerful during the day, but on occasion they occurred during my sleep, which was the beginning of the downfall, which I didn’t even know yet.
Not only was this intense excitement drawn in from my riding, team – and the vast potential I feel I have for this year – it also comes from my life off of the bike. For 2 years, throughout the pandemic, the bike has been my sole form of joy. Up to October 2021, I was very tentative when it came to the virus. I wouldn’t feel comfortable on a night out, or with people I hadn’t yet met. Talk about narrowing my circle, right? Something was missing, I wasn’t progressing as a person off of the bike like I hoped to be doing during this time of my life. Then University came along, and when I returned to the Chopper House after Christmas, and the incredible changes I made whilst being back with my parents’ company. I experienced the incredible conversations and comedic evening with the housemates I’ve got at the Chopper House, it added to that already super high level of euphoria I was storing up within me. They are incredible people, they’ve also brought amazing people into the Chopper House, to have the best talks, cooks and host our own little house-‘gogglebox.’ The time with different people, developing myself as a person – not a cyclist but a person – is equally overwhelming as it is in producing my happiest self for a good while.
In addition to this surplus of Euphoria from these events, the work I had been doing with Mum to improve my stability and power on the bike, mixed very well with the future vision I have of the outcome of my work at University. With any positive vision it – you guessed it – produced a further 3rd layer to my euphoria resource that I was wringing every last spike of adrenaline from.
These three layers merging together was a huge shock my the system. I simply didn’t know how to control the euphoria. I left it unchecked because I was naïve to want it 24/7. As a result it has utterly drained me dry of energy the past few days. I accepted this reality the other day, when I was fighting the truth of what I was feeling for the previous 2 days. I’m at home, feeling easier and trying to sleep it off, with good quality sleep, and in a good quality bed and with no distractions.
I’ve just been extremely run down, I don’t know if you know those frays on the connection of the skin to the nail…? Double what you normally envisage with them.
It’s positive. All positive. I’ve had this crucial lesson, and I’m still incredibly keen for the season and to perform with confidence I’ve never experienced before. Rest is all I feel I need, right now, to achieve this. I’ve done this to myself, I’m young, and I’m learning all these lessons which, arguably I should’ve learned across the last 2 years. It will make me better in the long run. After all… “He who Learns Fastest Prevails…” and I’ve got the opportunity to harness and control this power that euphoria brings, so I don’t have this massive crash but rather lots of lesser come downs where I can be truly restful, and therefore dip into the Euphoria, when I need it to be my best self. Be it in Cycling, Socially or University.